Grateful

Five weeks ago today marks the time from the morning of my sudden brain hemorrhage.  We are so very grateful for the way things have turned out given the scary circumstance and feel God's goodness and protection in many many ways.  When I look back on the past year, I see his hand in lots of little details preparing us for this time...like Patrick's move to a new (and wonderful) firm which has provided us excellent health insurance (10 days in the ICU is not cheap) as well as the flexibility for him to take lots of time off, the selling of our small business a few months ago, having only one week left to finish for our school year when the bleed occurred (Sophie got a freebie!), and countless other little things that have been and continue to be so comforting to think about during this crazy experience.  I feel I have been given a second chance to live life.  Life for sure is a gift and can change in the blink of an eye...

Monday morning, May 23rd:
Patrick had just brought me a cup of coffee in bed around 7: 15.  He had lovingly been getting up with the kiddos every morning so that I could sleep in a little being in my third trimester.  I sat up to drink my coffee and in a matter of seconds an intense pain instantly hit the back of my head.  It quickly spread forward and then down my neck.  I told Patrick at first that I had a sudden headache that I thought was really weird since headaches usually build slowly.  He Googled "third trimester migraine" on his phone.  The point at which the pain spread down my neck I knew something was really wrong.  After calling my OB we left very quickly for the ER and thankfully were seen almost immediately once checked in.  The pain continued to get worse which I didn't think was possible.  Definitely worse than two all natural childbirths combined.  The narcotics they gave me to manage the pain did nothing.  Being 32 weeks pregnant complicated things tremendously.  The tests and drugs which normally would have been given had to be weighed carefully with the risks to the baby.  I eventually had an MRI done which came back normal.  A short time later another type of MRI scan, an MRV, was ordered and revealed the "sub-arachnoid" bleeding in my brain.  I vaguely recall a flurry of doctors/nurses and being taken to the ICU which would be my new home for the next 10 days.  My massive headache continued until around 9:45pm when I was finally given just the right combo of narcotics and steroids.  I didn't sleep at all that night or the following (due to the heavy dose of steroids), but was so happy to be pain free that I gladly watched the clock tick. 

After three cerebral angiograms (a test where contrast dye is shot up through the femoral artery into the brain and then x-ray ed) over the the course of 10 days it appears "highly unlikely" that the bleed was caused by an aneurysm.  Great news for sure, but what did cause it?  Well, no one really knows.  Comforting?  Not so much, but the fact that I have a greater chance of being struck by lightening twice brings a bit of reassurance.  Apparently I had the rarest of all brain hemorrhages as well as the most benign and with no discernible cause.  Couple that with my age, pregnancy, no family history, nor any recent head trauma and I am probably one of 5 in which this has ever occurred.  I'm an "anomaly"!  Yes, just what I was going for of course.

My wonderful neurologist said the recovery time would be a minimum of 4 weeks.  I have felt pretty well the last week other than being REALLY pregnant and ready for the baby to come.  My strength is slowly but surely coming back, along with my ability to concentrate on things (such as reading/writing).  We have been pleasantly surprised that I have not had many headaches (which were expected) since returning home.   

The hospital care we received was incredible.  The ICU nurses were amazing, along with the nurses from labor/delivery who came to monitor the baby three times per day.  Aside from some differing opinions between my neurologist and neuro-surgeon, the care from multiple physicians was also phenomenal.  I am super grateful for the providers from my OB practice and the care they have shown through this whole ordeal.  I'll obviously be seeing a lot more of them in the very near future... 

While the time in the hospital was incredibly difficult for me personally and for our family, I honestly would not change one thing about it.  There was and continues to be a good purpose in it and we are so very grateful for the Lord's healing.

Our children did beautifully considering that I had never been away from any of them for more than 36 hours.  That was probably the hardest part of my hospital stay - just missing them terribly, especially on Thomas' birthday.  Patrick and I decided that the next time we are apart from them for 10 days it will be for a vacation!  A wise friend said "you guys really need to get out more!"  Yes, indeed. 

We are overwhelmed by the amount of help that has come from both near and far.  Thankful does not even begin to do justice to our family, friends, and neighbors.  Childcare, meals, yard work, notes, flowers, treats, care packages etc. have been given so generously.  Above all we have felt the prayers of many and are so appreciative for the constant support.

Being home with our family has been a wonderful step up from the ICU as I continue to rest and heal.  Each day I am amazed at how my perspective on life, marriage and motherhood has changed.  Grateful beyond words sums it up.

"This God - his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true;
he is a shield to those who take refuge in him."
- 2 Samuel 22:31
    

Habits

I really really enjoyed reading this today...
The Habits that Make all the others possible

"Because life is not a thing to be wrestled with, subdued and conquered; life’s a beauty to be considered. God didn’t say control the landscape, but to consider long the lilies."

Four!

Can't wait to welcome another baby into our family! And just when I said I would really never want to have a baby in the middle of the summer...July 14th. God has a wonderful sense of humor doesn't He?

Ultrasound at 12.5 weeks...

Summer Recap

Well, since the ENTIRE summer went by with nary a post, I'm doin a little catch up...

M A Y
Thomas turned FOUR. Learned to ride his bike never using training wheels. Got a full size youth hockey goal. Had a party at a nearby park/creek. Lovin life.











J U N E
Patrick accepted a job offer from a new firm. Great people, interesting cases. 10 minute commute. All around great. Worked 30 days straight. Including on his birthday and Father's Day. On his way home from work on a SATURDAY, he was hit by an elderly lady who ran a red light - SUV totalled. VERY thankful no one was hurt.



But Henry said I could borrow his car...



J U L Y
Better work hours, no car accidents, a fun Fourth of July parade in our neighborhood (some rad float making too), and celebration of our 9Th wedding anniversary. Words cannot possibly express how grateful I am for my husband. LOVE pretty much sums it up.









A U G U S T
What?
Hank turned TWO. I literally remembered the afternoon before. Promptly spent an hour and a half in our favorite toy store with the kiddos and my mom. Good times. LuLu brought over vanilla steamers and pastries for breakfast. Don't judge, it's just milk laced with vanilla syrup (that he consumes in less than 30 seconds) - what's not to like about that? Pizza for dinner and cupcakes for dessert. Wonderful day spent at home. It's amazing how "partyish" life can be with three kids.









Thomas gave himself a bang trim...





Soph was a flower girl in a dear friend's wedding. Best time in all her six years staying up late dancing until 11pm. Wants to become a professional flower girl actually. Amazing wedding complete with lots of good Irish folk, great friends, food, and drink. It took us all at least a week to recover from the festivities.











Patrick's boss, Irnie, invited us down to his farm in Castle Rock. The kiddos gathered fresh eggs from the barn, rode a horse, and took a tour of the farm in the scoop of a John Deere front end loader. Really fun day!





Sophie started in a homeschool enrichment program 1.5 days a week through a local charter school. Her favorite teacher is Mrs. Bacon. It was meant to be. She loves it, I love it, everyone is happy.



School in our home started right after our annual Labor Day trip to Pecos, NM. Which will be a whole nother post. It was awesome...

Lemonade! Lemonade!

Change

Some things never change. Like God's infinite love for us. And some things constantly change. Like children. I feel surrounded by change lately. Change in major life things and change in teenie tiny things. Change is often challenging for me but I know it is a necessary part of life, and without it there is no growth. So rather than fear it (which is my usual inclination) I'm trying my best to embrace it, be hopeful in it, and desire it. Because really, when it comes right down to how God created us, change can be incredibly beautiful.

I have been reminded quite a lot recently that "the days are long but the years are short." I can imagine looking back over these days in utter amazement at just how darn fast they went by, how sweet they have been, and how much change takes place in growing up.

And in the blink of an eye, my baby is now my boy...

Sweet Friends

Three of the Molitor children came over to play one afternoon a few weeks ago. Having six kiddos running around the house gave me a teenie tiny taste of what it is like for the their family of seven and for Patrick's sister with her NINE. Right now, having three is totally manageable.
Sophie and Ruthie enjoyed doing school work together, Thomas and Walter played hockey and acted just as boys should, Henry and Rebecca followed each other around like sweethearts. We ventured to the park across the street and on our walk home stopped by the creek for some "exploring". Lots of giggling and makebelieve was had by all.

Tis the Season

It has been a busy six weeks! Time has seemed to fly and stand still all at the same time. Just yesterday I realized that since Sophie's birthday in early Nov, I haven't taken a single photo of my kiddos (excluding phone pictures) which is saying a lot. I feel a little sad about that since Henry has changed quite a bit in the last few weeks. He seems to have lost his baby look and is full speed ahead as a toddler.

Last weekend was FULL. Four parties in three days. Patrick's firm holiday dinner on Friday night (which wasn't nearly as awkward as I was expecting it to be!), a birthday party for a neighbor then a cocktail supper with a dear group of friends Saturday night, and the Downing House Christmas open house Sunday night. I also got to spend some great time with two friends (Ginger and Byranie) who were visiting from out of state this weekend. The couple of hours alone with each of them was such a treat and a wonderful break from the constantness of motherhood. I'm wishing I had more pictures but just managed to get a few on Sunday night at the Downing House...








The next few weeks slow way down for us. We'll take a few weeks off from school and just prepare for Christmas. Then, the weekend after we'll drive down to New Mexico to spend some time with my side of the family. I haven't seen my brother Matt and his sweet wife and kiddos in over 3 years. The longest stretch of time for sure. Looking forward to meeting my niece Maisie and for them to meet Henry. Also, let's not forget the massive amounts of green chile we'll consume.

I must now muster up the energy to stand in line at the post office for stamps.

Merry Christmas!

Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus

We've been listening to Fernando Ortega's Christmas Songs pretty much all day every day for several weeks. He has some beautiful renditions of classic Christmas hymns as well as several songs of his own. My favorite this year...

Come, Thou long expected Jesus
Born to set Thy people free;
From our fears and sins release us,
Let us find our rest in Thee.
Israel's strength and consolation,
Hope of all the earth Thou art;
Dear desire of every nation,
Joy of every longing heart.

Born Thy people to deliver,
Born a child and yet a King,
Born to reign in us forever,
Now Thy gracious kingdom bring.
By Thine own eternal Spirit
Rule in all our hearts alone;
By Thine all sufficient merit,
Raise us to Thy glorious throne.

By Thine all sufficient merit,
Raise us to Thy glorious throne.

Such a beautiful reminder of our sweet Saviour's birth and the JOY, PEACE, REST and HOPE that comes from knowing Him.

http://www.fernandoortega.com

Quotes of the day

Thomas running around in his undies...

Me: "Thomas go put your pants on so we can go to Great Harvest."

Thomas: (very convincingly) "Mom, did you know some kids don't wear pants when they go to Great Harvest?"

Me: "No, no I did not know that."


Sophie holding her bucket of Halloween candy...

"Mom, if you just give us the whole bucket then we'll get totally sick of it and won't ask for anymore for like, ten years."

As I'm writing this, Thomas runs in with his pants on, but missing his shirt. Arrgggg. Sometimes getting out the door is ridiculous.

Cannon Beach, OR

We returned a few weeks ago from our first vacation ever as a family. Not just the little drive up to the mountains on the weekend sort of vacation, but a REAL vacation. Like fly somewhere vacation. I will go ahead and skip the part about flying with a 14 month old who is often mistaken for a screeching baby pterodactyl and instead move directly to our blissful week at the beach.

Words cannot describe, nor pictures do any justice to, the beauty of Cannon Beach. The first two times we walked down to the ocean I literally cried. And I am not a crier. It was truly breathtaking. I think Sophie was particularly overwhelmed with the magnitude and different feel of the landscape because she did her "snugly thing" about 100 times over the course of the week. The kids had a ball and Patrick and I totally enjoyed watching them play and explore all day. Surprisingly, Sophie liked playing in the little cottage where we stayed almost as much as on the beach. She is such a nester girl! One of Thomas' favorite things was kite flying and digging pits in the sand. Henry's favorite thing was eating the sand! The weather was apparently wonderful for Oregon. It rained and was chilly at times everyday but I think we had more sunshine that one week than they usually do in a month. We were happy about that for sure!

We went hiking two of the days. One day in Ecola State Park just north of CB and another day we drove across the Columbia River into Washington to hike to the Lewis and Clark center at Cape Disappointment. So cool. We ate our weight in seafood, had bonfires on the beach and on our last day hit low tide just in time around Haystack Rock to see hundreds of starfish, sea anemones, mussels, crabs and every kind of sea bird imaginable.

My mom and Aunt happened to be visiting some friends in Olympia, WA and were able to come down the coast and join us for 3 nights. It was fun having them with us and a treat for Patrick and I to have the ability to go out by ourselves occasionally. One of my favorite things was going on an early morning run together along the water and finding a crab that Patrick bravely picked up and carried home for breakfast. I am still in awe really of how well everyone did for the week away from home. We all slept soundly, stayed healthy, relaxed, and had so much fun together. So grateful for the time together and for God's protection.

It was a fantastic first family vacation.
All future ones will have A LOT to live up to...




The sand was super soft







The cottage surrounded with blackberry bushes



Hangin with George

Loved this oar handrail

I want this



Kite flying



Funny Thomas taking a rest in the background

Cove beach on our hike


Crazy big mossy trees





Indian Beach in Ecola State Park



Tide pool with LuLu

Love the reflection in his glasses



Haystack Rock





















Sticky anemones








Psalm 33:5-9
The Lord loves righteousness and justice;
the earth is full of his unfailing love.
By the word of the Lord were the heavens made,
their starry host by the breath of his mouth.
He gathers the waters of the sea into jars;
he puts the deep into storehouses.
Let all the earth fear the Lord;
let all the people of the world revere him.
For he spoke, and it came to be;
he commanded, and it stood firm.